super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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