he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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