once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
