We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
