i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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