Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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