hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
