All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
