3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
bring money and cleavage
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
