Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
someone owes me an orgasm
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
