there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
