Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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