His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
a search helicopter?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So much rum. So many feels.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
