yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
