I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My feet surprised me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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