I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
