K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
