It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
