My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
