dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
