If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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