I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
