Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
