I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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