Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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