1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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