so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
