He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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