Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
