Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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