my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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