...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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