how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
