Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
