Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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