I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
