Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
