whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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