I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
