You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
