I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I checked into jail on foursquare
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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