The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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