I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
