I puked a lego.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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