I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
