you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
