I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so let's talk penis.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
