When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
