My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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