I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
