I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
should my penis look like a turkey
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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